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Tall Women and High Heels: Dating a Shorter Man


Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise

Dave Hogan/Getty Imges

As a tall woman, if you limit yourself to only dating taller men, you shrink your potential dating pool by about 80 percent or more. As tempting as that might be, doing so really sells yourself, and a lot of great guys…well, short.

That's not to say that dating shorter men won't have the occasional awkward moment. The "socially acceptable" couple consists of a taller man and a shorter woman, and to buck that trend means sticking your tongue out at society…and maybe your mother. The decision becomes even trickier if you're a woman who loves her shoes. Throw on a pair of heels and an inch-or-two difference in height can quickly become five or six inches when dating a shorter man.

So how do you tackle this issue? That depends. Picture this:

You're getting ready for a hot date with a new guy. You know he's a little shorter than you, but so far your height hasn't been an issue. You throw on a slinky dress, do your hair, paint your nails, then just as you're about to strap your sexy red stilettos to your feet, you pause. Yes, these shoes go perfectly with your outfit. Yes, you feel like a million bucks while wearing them. No, the flats you have as an alternative don't do nearly as much for your legs. But…these would definitely make you much taller than your date. Will he mind? Will he ask you to change? Will he want to go out with you again?

Unfortunately, these are valid questions. And the answers will vary based on the guy. Some men just won't have the confidence to walk alongside a woman who is clearly taller than him. But, is that the kind of guy you really want to date?

When deciding whether to wear heels around a shorter man, ask yourself a few questions:

  • If you were going out with friends or a taller man, would you hesitate to strap on your heels?
  • Does the idea of towering over your date bother you?

If you answer "no" to both questions, put those bad-boy heels on! This date of yours knew exactly what he was getting into when he asked you out, and chances are he's more than prepared to be the Keith Urban to your Nicole Kidman, or the Tom Cruise to your Katie Holmes.

The fact is, the decision to wear heels should hinge solely on your own comfort with the idea, not on the comfort of the guy you're dating. No fashion-loving female should feel obligated to give up the shoes she loves for a guy who isn't confident enough to love her in them.

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